A businessman from Pennsylvania handed me a chocolate nut cluster. “I make the machines that make those,” he told me, “and I need your help“. Not quite Willy Wonka, but close.
Enjoying the chocolate, I asked what I could do. The first problem was straightforward, though it did take some effort. He displayed his chocolate nut cluster machine at a big food product manufacturing show in Germany. Everything was fine on the first day, even competing head-to-head with the German company who was his only real competitor. But the next morning several official-looking types came to his stand, accompanied by police, and taped up his machine with signs in German that said, roughly, “This machine is unsafe!“. He didn’t sell many after that, but nobody would tell him why his machine wasn’t safe. The U.S. Commercial Service staff in Dusseldorf figured it out. They went to the show organizers, who put them onto the local standards people. The German competitor had complained to them about the American machine and they duly found an unlocked maintenance hatch on the back of the U.S. product. The standards people said the door had to be locked. Once they knew what the problem was, it was easy to put a lock on the door and resume selling.
We couldn’t solve the second problem. Russia, then the Soviet Union, is a huge producer of chocolate. The U.S. company was approached by a Soviet trading company that wanted to buy a big order of the chocolate nut cluster machines for a factory near the Ural mountains. But, when asked how big an order, the trading company wouldn’t tell them. “Our production plans and capacities are state secrets,” they said. “Just give us your best price,” apparently not understanding economies of scale. So the chocolate nut cluster man came to Washington for help.
We’re talking about the Soviet Union, so these were the days before GPS or Google Earth. It turns out that somebody who really knows the chocolate industry can make a reasonable guess at a factory’s capacity by looking at the equipment on the factory roof. (You learn something everyday in this business.) All he needed was a photo of the roof and he could guess how big an order he should quote for. He knew where the chocolate factory was located and he knew that American intelligence organizations were taking satellite photos of Soviet industrial sites. Could the CIA let him see their photos of the Russian chocolate factory?Good idea, but long before its time. No way was the intelligence community going to let anybody see what they were taking pictures of – or let outsiders see how good, or bad, their satellite photos were. I even promised a supply of chocolate nut clusters, but it was simply too early to marry the world of covert intelligence with the needs of market research. Never did hear if my friend, the chocolate nut cluster man, figured out how to make the sale.
Valentine’s Day. Thought you needed a nice romantic post about chocolate. Go eat a chocolate nut cluster.


